Laura, who is getting married this August, recently wrote a blog post about serving at weddings. That got me thinking… I can only recall a few weddings in my life that I have attended solely as a guest. I’m used to the bride and groom asking me to assume some voluntary role, either because 1) I’m in the family, and everyone in the family is called into duty, or 2) I’m from the church, and everyone in the church is called into duty. Why is it that at my cousins’ weddings, it doesn’t seem like they’re using church helpers, and then at FCBC weddings, it doesn’t seem like they’re using family helpers? Hmmm?

I’m not complaining, though. I really enjoy helping out at weddings! I’ll expand on this in a future, related post (I’ve been meaning to write about why Ethan and Gisele’s wedding last month was the most fun I’d ever had serving at a wedding).

So, what roles have I taken on at weddings, and what do I think of them?

1. Photography (2 weddings). I’m not considering paid jobs, assisting, or weddings where I was just a casual guest with a camera. There have been two times I was asked to volunteer my skills to cover the candids at the reception and other details the professional would miss.

Thoughts: People assume I would want to do this because they know of my consideration to venture into professional photography. And it is good practice for me, so I appreciate it. The only thing I don’t like is that it takes me away from hanging out and having good times with my friends during the reception and banquet, because I’d be floating around the room much of the time.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

2. Audio/Visual (3 weddings). A limited number of people know my background in this area at UCLA, so it hasn’t been often. I love sound-checking and running the board. I don’t like the equipment transport, set up, and tear down, because there usually isn’t enough help.

Thoughts: Hire a professional. The job is too big to ask a friend to do. Also, a pro will have his own equipment. Don’t have high expectations otherwise, because the venue’s in-house system may be inadequate. Also, if your playlist is iPod-based, your A/V friend will be continually embarrassed when guests keep coming up to ask “are you the DJ?” and requesting songs and wondering why the mix is terrible.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

3. Worship Leader (1 wedding). Worship Band Musician (1 wedding). I LOVE leading worship. As I have been encouraged by so many people at church, this is me in my element. To lead worship at Ben and Leah’s wedding was an honor and privilege, as a friend and as a brother in Christ.

Thoughts: I would actually consider leading worship one of the greatest privileges one could have at a wedding, right up there with best man, maid of honor, and officiating pastor. Why? Probably the same reason Steph (in response to Laura) said, “My favorite part of the wedding is singing hymns/songs about Christ’s redemptive work… I think being at a wedding and singing those songs is such a powerful image of what is to come when Christ returns.”

Rating: 5 out of 5.

4. Performing at the Reception (2 weddings). This only happens at Szeto family weddings, where all the cousins (all ~20 of us) have to perform a musical number together. Think Chinese VonTrapp family. Oh, we do funerals too! (Okay, that was wrong. But we do.)

Thoughts: It’s like Chinese family reunion recitals, where all the parents have to show off their kids’ talents so they set aside one night for all the little ones to perform. Ugh!

Rating: 1 out of 5. Maybe 0.5 more for re-watching value 20 years later.

5. Wedding Party (1 wedding). The only time I was in the party was as a ring bearer for my uncle when I was seven.

Thoughts: I don’t really expect to be in too many lineups in my lifetime, but that’s okay. It was a traumatic experience, anyways (but that’s another story). And I can imagine it would be more stressful as an adult, with more responsibilities.

Rating: 1 out of 5.

6. Setup/Cleanup (countless weddings). I’ve had a lot of experience setting up tables and chairs, moving things, and taking care of random details. That’s what happens when you’re a “church kid,” because you get enlisted with all the 100 other church kids to do the grunt work. Thankfully, all the stuff I wouldn’t want to do goes to the girls: welcome table (Doreen’s bane), boutonnières, kitchen duty, etc. Still, I’ve destroyed two pairs of dress shoes by moving equipment while dressed up.

Thoughts: The most inconsiderate thing the bride and groom can do is assume that the kids want to help, or that because you’ve invited them, they are obligated to help. I can understand the assumption is made because the grunt work normally falls to the kids during special church events and holiday services. But this is different; they are your guests first, your helpers second. Don’t have a task list and schedule printed out for them (and God forbid, handed to them!) before they’ve even RSVP’d. That presumptuousness is most offensive.

Rating: 2 out of 5. I hope my current skill set (including photography and A/V) exempts me from grunt work for the rest of my life. And my current pair of dress shoes is intact!

A. Things I’ve Never Done But Want To Do. I’d like to perform musically at the wedding. I know this is the polar opposite of leading worship in terms of humility. But I think I’d like to play guitar. Maybe sing, like Jen. But I’m a better guitarist than vocalist, by far. I enjoyed hearing Mike attempt to play my solo guitar rendition of “Come Thou Fount” at Steven’s wedding (it wasn’t bad for a 15-minute crash course and no tabs)! And hey, I know how to play “Air on the G String” by Bach on classical guitar now, too!

B. Things I’ve Never Done But Don’t Want To Do. I would be happy to never be an usher. I’ve never ushed, and I probably wouldn’t like ushing. (I know those aren’t words, but that’s how Doreen and I talk.)