[This is a classic jszeto journal entry from my college blog. In light of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d repost part of the most popular series of posts I ever wrote. I may not agree with everything I said at the time, but it sure still is entertaining! Originally posted Monday, February 13th, 2006. Content slightly edited.]

In light of that special holiday around the corner, I feel that it is especially appropriate for me to address a certain issue that is not pressing nor heavy on my heart, but I know applies to many of you! Ha.

There comes a time in every friendship and could-be-relationship that both parties often dread: the DTR.

As you probably know, DTR means Defining The Relationship, and is that point when the two of you sit down and take the plunge from friendship into oblivion (oblivion being dating with the intention of marriage, if you’re doing it right).

A DTR is usually prefaced by “We need to talk” or “Heydidyouknowthatilikeyou *runs away*”.

But even if the DTR goes well, it doesn’t end there. Once you’re in the relationship, the philosophy goes like this regarding DTRs: Do it often, do it well.

That way, you’re always on the same page, so that one individual is not plummeting toward proposal and overreading everything the other says and does, while the other party is still at the starting line tying his/her shoelaces.

So in light of all of this, I would like to propose a system to make DTRs easy and even fun.

But first, a few examples. Here’s a DTR as we know it:

Boy: Girl, we need to talk.
Girl: (oh, no, here it comes) We’re talking.
Boy: Well, there comes a time in every friendship between a godly, humble man and godly, beautiful woman, where they come to a crossroads with regards to God’s will for their relationship. Over the last three years we have been through so much and have come to know each other as well as we do, praying for each other and serving alongside each other, and I’ve been praying and thinking a lot about this, and talking to all my friends and my small group for the last 6 months, and–
Girl: Umm hey–do you smell smoke?
Boy: (pauses, caught off guard) Err… that’s the fire in my heart burning for you, baby. –For God! I mean God!
Girl: You’re such a dork. I’m in love with HANDSOME DREAM MAN. And I need more time to read my Bible and pray.

Ouch, no? For a stark contrast, here’s every man’s dream DTR:

Boy: I like you. You like me?
Girl: Me like you long time.
Boy: Yay! Date?
Girl: Only if you pay, you cheap PAM [Passive Asian Male].

Well, with my solution that I will present shortly, DTRs will be made, as I promised, fun and easy.

[Click here for Part II: The DTR, Part II]