However, I keep meticulous driving records, and I have discovered that the 2007 Toyota Corolla gets 8.3% better fuel efficiency by driving at what I will call “leftmost-lane flow-of-traffic speeds,” compared to “normal freeway speeds”. (Phrased carefully to not explicitly or publicly confess to experimental speeding… that shall remain ambiguous. Ha!)
Therefore I believe that the claims of these articles, studies, and websites are just a ploy to get people to drive more slowly and safely by claiming that they’re saving money on gas. It’s kind of like telling people “eating more vegetables will make you rich and famous”… not true, but perhaps a good way to trick people into eating healthy.
Of course, speeding is still a terrible idea, because it possibly entails: 1) endangering lives, including your own, 2) increased insurance premiums, 3) points on your driving record, and 4) transgressing the law.
Also, by my math, I could only afford to be pulled over and ticketed less frequently than once every 27200 miles in order to save money at all! (That’s the break even point where all the fuel money I save by speeding equals the cost of the ticket.)
In closing, I do not condone speeding. The purpose of this entry is not to promote speeding to save gas, but to simply point out the fact that these studies are probably intentionally making false claims about fuel efficiency as an excuse to just get people to slow down.
Falling in line with the rest of the Facebooksters…
25 Random Things About Me, And I Could Care Less If You Actually Do This If You’re Tagged
1. This post is being WordPressed but gets fed into Facebook via RSS. After that, I will log onto Facebook and tag people on the cross-post. This is so that it stays on my main blog forever, because I never look at my Facebook notes, except to read comments, because everyone comments there instead of on my real blog.
2. I wrote this over the course of a few days, in order to meet my usual standards of thoughtfulness, thoroughness, randomness, interest, and entertainment. It usually takes me a couple hours to write a good blog post, which is why I haven’t really gotten back into it since college.
3. When I was a little kid, Doreen and I got baby chicks for some reason. I named mine after my best friend, Jonas, but it died within a week. (Doreen’s, more-creatively-named Chickadee, lived for many years and lived to adulthood, until one day she was mauled by the neighbor’s dog or cat. Chickadee, not Doreen.)
4. There was a period spanning 7th to 9th grade in which I gave unusually creative oral presentations at school. There was a LEGO remake of Star Wars for a video group project in geometry. Four of us made a pop-culture parody video (where we spoofed multiple TV shows) for social studies (topic: overpopulation). I interacted with a recorded on-screen version of myself, even “magically” passing items back and forth through the TV, for a solo presentation in that same class (topic: wind energy). I gave a book report entirely in a British accent, in men’s and women’s voices, for literature. And in science I performed a rap about Francium. (”My element is Francium, its symbol FR / the atomic number’s 87, that’s not bizarre / it’s the densest and heaviest alkali metal / and its radioactivity keeps it unsettled…”)
5. A group of four friends and I got in trouble in second grade for illegal sale of wares. Keeping clean desks was the fad (well, it was just fun to mark up the desk with #2 pencils and then wiping it off). So some of us got together to create the ultimate soap (a homemade concoction of other soaps, dishwasher fluids, detergents, and shampoos). We mixed it all up and came up with a name: Supercleaner! Then we sold it to our classmates for 25 cents per vial (old film canisters). We even appointed an accountant, who kept our profits in an empty Crayola box hidden inside his desk. Eventually the teachers found out, and we had to stay in at recess to clean EVERYONE’S desks. I guess the punishment fit the crime.
I bet they secretly were delighted in the idea of us being young entrepreneurs. Also, they stole our hard-earned money.
6. Near the time I first started going to school, either the beginning of kindergarten or first grade, I thought I was white. The conversation reportedly went something like this:
Mom: How was your first day at school?
Me: Everybody’s WHITE!
Mom: But what about Wesley? [The one black kid]
Me: He’s white TOO!!
Mom: Oh really? What about you?
Me: And I’M WHITE TOO!!!
See what school does, kids? It brainwashes you. And that is why I’m racist.
7. I actually am mostly racist towards Chinese people. I think it’s because I know them too well. And because they excuse their personal deficiencies with their race. For example…
8. I’m a very punctual person. I loathe the idea of “Chinese time”. But sometimes I am late. And I can’t believe I’m revealing this secret, which I’ve only ever told two people… Okay, here it is: if I’m late to something, it’s a sure sign that I don’t want to be there. I’m punctual by nature. Lateness is actually a sign of my contempt for having to be there. Lateness is me sticking it to you.
The only exception is if I’m arriving with someone. So if I show up late to something, it’s either because I don’t want to be there, or it’s the other person’s fault. If I call in advance to tell the person in charge that I’ll be late, it’s because someone is making me late and because I really want to be there. Guaranteed. If I’m late and didn’t call you… now you know why.
9. My mom forced me to sing on worship team the very first time. It was in early high school, and I really did not want to be a part of it, and could not believe she volunteered my availability and that I did not have a choice! I actually threw a tantrum and pleaded and begged, and yes, I even cried, for her to call them back and let me off the hook. I was mad at her for a while after that. God had other plans!
10. Contrary to most young people, I firmly believe that purely platonic inter-gender friendships are possible and have at least one friendship that proves it.
11. Doreen and I used to keep written lists of things the other person mistakenly said, so we could tease each other about them later. (”Before it did you did?”)
12. In college, I took an upper-division linguistics course that is required for every linguistics undergrad. Of course, as a computer science student, I took it merely as an elective. There is a term paper that every student has to write for that class, which means that probably every linguistics graduate from UCLA within the last decade has written that paper. My professor, Bruce (who supplies the voice of that name for the text-to-speech synthesis feature in the Mac OS), claimed that my analysis of Hungarian phonemes was the best paper to pass through the linguistics department in the last five years. Doreen (being a real linguistics major, and having passed through that class recently) despised me for it.
13. I am probably the proudest person imaginable. Saving this until point #13 is an example of my false humility, because this is the absolute first thing I thought of about myself but didn’t want it to be at the top.
14. I approach trust and respect in exact opposite ways. When I meet you for the first time, I trust you 100% until you break that trust. But also when I meet you, I have absolutely zero respect for you until you earn it. I guess the first part is me being naive and the second part is me being prideful. Both get me into tough situations.
15. People wrongly dislike me for being “just too talented at everything.” I’m not… the trick is that I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I play to my strengths. For example, you won’t catch me playing sports.
16. Some people think I’m a crazy driver, not because of speed, recklessness, or aggressiveness, but because of agility. It was Peter Dang who taught me to know your car’s dimensions. That way you know exactly what you can and cannot do, or where you can or cannot go. While parallel parking, in narrow lanes, or making a 3-point turn, I’ll get a lot closer to other cars, curbs, and walls than most other drivers are comfortable with, but know that it’s still clear and safe. (So for the same reason, there are other passengers who say I’m the safest driver they know). Even my driving examiner commented, “You have fast hands!”
17. In a related thought, I have always wanted to be a stunt driver.
18. I’m actually uncomfortable writing this post. In conversation, I always redirect the topic to the other person. And most people like to talk about themselves. That’s why most people don’t know much about me. It’s not because I’m a quiet or reserved person, it’s because I’ll make you talk about yourself instead of me.
19. I used to be a worry wart, all through middle school. Stress and anxiety would keep me up at night, and I’d always be scared of things going wrong. I don’t think there was a day that I didn’t go to sleep worrying about something for the next day. Then one day I read Matthew 6, and I never was anxious after that. In fact, by the end of high school I could not be more chill. College friends comment they have never seen me stressed.
20. My college roommate, Daniel, and I used to have night raves in our dorm room during finals week. Yes, just the two of us. This involved me busting out my black light (from Lynnette), strobing the room lights and flashlights manually, and pumping techno remixes of classical music (and, on one occasion, The Vienna Boys’ Choir Goes Pop. Have you heard them sing the Backstreet Boys’ “Get Down”?!?).
21. We also enjoyed watching infomercials late at night. We got VERY good at appraising infomercials. That is, now if we see a new infomercial for the first time, we’re able to say “that thing’s probably 4 payments of $39.99. But I bet they’ll slash one payment and throw in an extra blade for free.” And we’ll be right.
22. I use a different password for every online account. So I have HUNDREDS of different passwords, all a combination of over eight numbers and letters (uppercase and lowercase). How do I remember them all? I don’t. I generate them using a secret formula based on the name of the web service or website, so there’s no need to memorize it, I just apply that formula every time I need to log in somewhere.
23. I peel bananas from the “wrong” end… which is really the top, because bananas grow upside-down. The reason I do is because I despise the little black bit at the end, so if you peel from that side, you can pinch it off at the beginning. Of course, people always tell me you can peel it like a “normal” person and just pinch off the black part at the end, but I like my last bite to not have the tip ripped off.
24. I type primarily using the Dvorak keyboard layout. I am now a snail using QWERTY. People find my computer unusable because while I type on a normal keyboard, it’s remapped by Windows to use Dvorak. Visitors often say “I think you have a virus, James… your keyboard isn’t typing the right letters!”
25. Over the last three days as I put this list together, I came up with a couple of really good ones with hilarious stories behind them. Both times I was not at a computer and so I did not write them down, and now I’ve forgotten. At least this saves me a few good stories to tell you in person, though. It would have been a shame to exhaust them all here.
This might be nearly a month late, but wow, it’s 2009! Last January I posted my first year in review, and it’s nice to have something to go back and look at after a year’s time. This time around, I’m going to arrange my thoughts chronologically instead of by facets of life. Here are the highlights of 2008.
January 2008
January’s theme was new beginnings.
I started the year with a new Bible (ESV single-column reference); I had always wanted a single-column Bible, just for the look of paragraph prose spanning entire pages like a novel rather than newsprint! (However, later in the year I purchased the new ESV Study Bible, which I immediately began using regularly).
January was also the first time I saw Phil Wickham live or even heard his stuff. Since then, I’ve seen him in concert again, purchased his music, and even lead his songs regularly at church. The music ministry at church also started up a biweekly jam session, through which we train prospective musicians in the art of playing in a band. It has been really productive over the course of its first year; some of our meetings have up to 16 people in attendance, and it’s always a lot of fun!
And I started moisturizing regularly. The girls would be proud.
February 2008
February was marked by abundant and unexpected blessings.
I got a raise at work! That was significant and even brought more joy to my work.
I was also given a clean bill of health at a screening for my health insurance. All tests came out normal or excellent, or in the case of body fat percentage, off the charts (the nurse thought the machine was broken before she realized that it just couldn’t register that low of a range).
Buddy and I attended the Worship Central conference at Rock Harbor, featuring Tim Hughes. It was so profitable and eye-opening that we resolved to bring the rest of the music team along to the next conference, and we did (see September).
March 2008
The theme of March was significant change.
Jonas spearheaded major AV upgrades at church. The new system has a subwoofer, separate stage monitor mixes, and more acoustic control over the drum set. The subwoofer makes it THAT much more fun to play; being able to feel the music is great!
The goal of a musically excellent song set for Resurrection Sunday service led our worship band to conduct six nights of music team practices (over the course of two months) to perfect an upbeat, uplifting, and passionate musical worship for that morning. Such an effort and commitment to practice had never been realized before among the English worship band. And the response to that worship service was overwhelming, which set a new standard for us as musicians. May we skillfully set a stage of excellent and undistracting instrumentation for the praise and glory of Jesus Christ from the lips and hearts of His children!
But the biggest change in my life (and most emotionally and spiritually trying period of 2008) was the mutual decision in March to cut off one of my deepest friendships for the sake of emotional purity. With Steph removed from my life, the following four months were a great personal trial, and it was a time of significant growth in terms of faith and contentment in God and His sovereign will.
April 2008
But God provided April as a time of retreat and renewal.
My solo trip to London was a sovereignly-timed cathartic experience to renew my trust in the Lord and to take my mind off of my immediate emotional distress. To celebrate my oldest cousin Francis’ 40th birthday (as the extended family’s representative from the States) and to spend time and share my faith with my beloved cousin Camille and her boyfriend Alex were indeed two very rewarding and memorable parts of my time in England.
May 2008
In May, fun and excitement prevailed.
Doreen and Roland got engaged. We had a 2005-6 small group reunion at UCLA. Then, in one of the craziest trips of the year, Grace, Lynnette, and I went on a whirlwind two-overnighter Megabus adventure to Berkeley for Crystal’s graduation, leaving after church Friday night and arriving home in time for church Sunday morning.
June 2008
June was just plain busy.
The hallmark example of June’s craziness would be the 21st, when I attended (and photographed) two weddings back-to-back. It was intensely fun and exhilarating, but exhausting.
Family Camp concluded the month, at which I again led worship at all six sessions. Preparation for that, as usual, was quite time-consuming, although the timing only allowed the band a couple practices beforehand. I praise God for the proficiency of the team, with the addition of Stephanie Chan as flautist, Crystal on the keyboard, and my mom providing Chinese translation. It was a blessing to serve with the team we had, and an answer to prayer!
July 2008
I’ll never forget July as being the most significant part of my year because of missions.
Malaysia was definitely the highlight of 2008. There’s so much to say about the trip that one paragraph could not do justice to our experience. But simply put: For Jeff, Grace, Crystal, Lynnette, and myself, it was a privilege to be a part of local ministry in Penang for a short time, meeting the students there and seeing their Christlike, selfless love for one another in their community. It was also a joy to serve them and serve alongside them, and to mutually encourage one another in faith. God is certainly doing wonderful work there, and I cannot wait to return this year, Lord willing.
August 2008
Looking back, August looks like it was just a month of random social activity, but perhaps the underlying theme is rekindling friendships.
I went up north for Roger’s wedding (and caught up with many UCLA friends), had a dinner potluck with my closest college friends (the Row), had various one-on-one lunches, dinners, and late night yogurt hangouts to catch up with other old friends, some of whom had just returned to Orange County after graduation for work, like Melissa. And after our time apart, Steph and I began to reconnect once more, only with greater caution and wariness.
Other exciting things in August: the Olympics, buying my first acoustic guitar, and assisting my friend Tim Park at another wedding. (I haven’t mentioned above, but throughout 2008 I had many opportunities to shoot with Tim at a variety of events. They’re always fun, and it’s a joy to shoot together or assist him!)
September 2008
Although I’m out of school, September is still always the beginning of a new church year.
In September, ROCK welcomed its largest incoming freshman class in recent memory. Attendance at our college fellowship this school year has averaged in maybe the upper 20’s, in stark contrast to just three years ago when it was just six or eight people! I love the students and enjoy spending time with them, teaching, and sharing in fellowship.
The music team also attended a worship conference/training seminar, which renewed the enthusiasm and passion of our musicians. We kicked off the new church year desiring a stronger gospel focus in our worship, and a passion for excellence in our ministry. Together we long for the worship of Jesus Christ by His people.
October 2008
The highlight of October was my blast-from-the-past weekend in LA. I had the opportunity to shoot a wedding for an old UCLA/GOC friend, which was great! But that also allowed me to spend the night back in Westwood, where I was blessed with the chance to not only meet up with our ROCK Bruins, but also to catch up with Peter (who was also visiting from the East Coast) and spend more personal time with Daniel, Jessica, and Steph. Visiting Grace on Campus, Grace Community Church, and Crossroads added to the nostalgia of my college life in Westwood.
November 2008
November was all about family.
Doreen and Roland got married, and that was quite an event! But the biggest blessing from the wedding (aside from getting a new brother-in-law) was the time spent with the extended family, particularly the cousins on my mom’s side. Before the wedding, on the wedding day (serving alongside them), and the week after (family trip to Big Bear), I was able to sit down with nearly each of my little cousins and connect with them on a level I never have before. Instead of goofing around and entertaining ourselves with games, I instead was able to catch almost all of them one-on-one and talk about church, faith, and their spiritual lives. It brings me so much joy, now that we’re all older, to be able to share openly and maturely about such things, especially to be an encouragement to my high school and college age cousins! As for my older cousins… bringing Francis (see April 2008) to Disneyland is something we both will never forget.
December 2008
December was seriously bipolar. The first theme would easily be PAR-TAY!
Five nights in a row of Christmas parties and potlucks, two weekends in a row of Christmas concerts, going to the Grace Church program twice in one year, and purchasing Sprinkles cupcakes three times in two weeks for said events… craziness!
Another highlight to end the year was ROCK Winter Camp, which had the largest attendance in recent memory. The theme was “wisdom living,” and having my friends Ben and Leah there as our speaker was definitely my joy. I was glad for our students to meet my college friends, and for my dear friends to partake in the ministry I’m a part of. The intersection of these two worlds of mine was nothing short of a blessing.
But the second overarching theme of December was a more somber trial: wrestling with seeking and submitting to God’s will.
The last half of December was a time of spiritual and emotional struggle as Steph and I again reached the same crossroads we had reached many times before regarding our relationship. We individually spent the winter break in deep prayer and petition, seeking spiritual counsel from parents, mentors, and Scripture. But this time around, instead of being filled with fear, selfish desire, and uncertainty, as in March, this was actually a time of great peace, comfort, and contentment as we committed our relationship together into God’s hands.
Conclusion
The year 2008 was a time of great highs and deep lows, but of phenomenal spiritual blessing and amazing spiritual growth. It was surely an unforgettable year, with major overseas trips and my sister’s wedding. And just like last year, I’ve seen God bless both the college (fellowship and Sunday School) and worship ministries at church. Looking back, this year is certainly a testament to His faithfulness. To Him be all glory and honor and praise!
Epilogue:
Your reward for making it to the end of this 1900-word post is my forthrightness regarding the open-ended relational issues I mentioned under March, August, and December. But it’s actually 2009 news, since we made our decision in January: Steph and I are now officially in a courtship; that is, we are together prayerfully and intentionally considering future marriage and seeking the Lord’s will in that regard. In the meantime, we view this courtship period as a time of preparation for such a level of commitment and intimacy, as we are grown to fulfill our God-ordained roles of Biblical headship and submission, should God ultimately bring us together in marriage. For simplicity, you may say that we’re dating.
And thus the year begins anew. I’d call that an exciting start to the new year! I can’t imagine what God has in store for 2009!
Yesterday, while bored and discussing movies with a friend, I thought to myself, “I really feel like re-watching Gattaca right now. Too bad it’s not one of Hulu’s (NBC/Fox) free streaming movies.”
Then today I’m searching through Sling, and guess what: Hulu added Gattaca to their archives… yesterday.
Wow. What kind of crazy people would be willing to wake up at 7:00am and not arrive back home until 10:30pm, dedicating their whole Saturday to an all-day seminar and then some?
THIRTEEN members of the worship team, that’s who! Only the most enthusiastic group would voluntarily spend 9 hours in a worship conference, only to decide spontaneously over dinner that it would be appropriate to return to church and continue our musical training in a 2-hour nighttime jam session! Now that’s enthusiasm!
I have long considered worship team to be ministry team that has the most fun, judging by the lightheartedness and humor that graces each of our monthly meetings, jam sessions, parties, and going to concerts and other special events or services. We probably have the least boring meetings of all church meetings. And we can always poke fun at each other and laugh at ourselves while enjoying each other’s company, even with the families and children around (or especially so… those crazy kids!).
But now I am also convinced that the worship team also may have the most passion. I see a great passion to see God honored and His Name glorified. I see a great passion to move forward and progress in our musicianship. I see a great passion to do all things with excellence, spiritually and musically. I see a great passion and love for the congregation, a desire to see them value corporate worship and long to see and know more of Jesus Christ. And I am especially humbled to see such a passion to follow my leadership, though I am young, sinful, occasionally oblivious, stubborn, and have made mistakes. By they are also willing to take huge risks with me when I say go, or to hold back when I say no. God has blessed me with a great team, and words cannot express my gratitude. Please continue to pray for my wisdom in leadership.
Worship team, my heart is encouraged by your enthusiasm and passion, especially necessary during a time in which our church may be regularly criticized by some as lacking vision, resisting change, losing hope, or being stagnant. By God’s grace we have accomplished so much in 2007-2008, and I am refreshed and renewed in my excitement to see what God has in store for 2008-2009, as I beheld a renewed fire in your hearts today. I praise and thank God for you all!
And now, I REALLY have to sleep! Because the worshipful weekend continues at 8:00am tomorrow…
I was channel surfing this weekend when I caught a music video from a Christian band I used to follow before they changed their name and made it big (The Afters, formerly known as Blisse). Apparently, they had released a song earlier this year entitled MySpace Girl. It’s a sweet song, and really catchy! You can see the music video here [YouTube].
As great a song it is though, and as much as I like it, what was most surprising and also kind of disappointing is this: I had written a song (with help from my roommate Daniel) back in October 2004, but never recorded it… called Xanga Girl!!! (At that time, Xanga and blogging was the big thing on the Internet, while social networking was just catching on.) Xanga Girl was meant to be the 4th song in our “dorm room sessions” recording series, but we scrapped production, even after all the instruments were recorded and the lyrics were complete. So now I’m disappointed because even though it was never going to be released, now it seems so unoriginal.
In case you never heard about them, the “dorm room sessions” consisted of:
Fall ‘03, a rock lament of my horrendous academic term, by me
Without You, a sappy ballad of a shocking lost love, by Nointernet (Leah, Daniel, and me)
Love, This Christmas, the next Christmas classic, by bringyouROWnbass (Sharon, Daniel, and me)
Anyways, Xanga Girl was intended to be a parody of 4-power-chord generic pop-punk; after all, emo was just getting big at the time as well. And the song even topped Without You as having some of our smartest lyrical work (and some obscure references) as well. Here are snippets:
“Xanga girl, you rock my world wide web”
“Your blog is never more than superficiality / But that’s what I call your ‘virtual reality’”
“I wish that I could say to you someday, ‘With this blogring I be wed’”
“Your quizzie called me Charlie Brown, and you’re my little red-haired Xanga girl”
The reason we scrapped production is because neither of us had a good pop-punk tenor voice, and we wanted to find someone else to sing it. How sad. Well, despite being beaten to the punch (though 4 years late) by The Afters and their great song MySpace Girl, here is our vocal-less, unfinished song #4:
Xanga Girl (background track) Music and Lyrics by Room 220 (James Szeto and Daniel Tadiarca)
This is the first hymn arrangement I actually wrote for guitar and have used a few times during Sunday worship as an instrumental, meditative piece. Someday I need to record this with Doris or Buddy. Michael was able to use a variation of this arrangement at Steven and Angie’s wedding. And to Joel, Steph, Josh, and Chris, who have all requested tabs… someday I will write it out… someday. Haha.
Come Thou Fount (Instrumental) Original Melody by John Wyeth
Arrangement by James Szeto
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
[Hitherto Thy love has blessed me,
Thou hast brought me to this place;
And I know Thy hand will bring me
Safely home by Thy good grace.]
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.
–by Robert Robinson
By the way, the fourth verse, which we never sing, is my favorite of all.
Although I’ve been terrible at blogging consistently, the few ramblings I’ve published have caused some interesting stats to crop up in my Google Analytics account. Now I proudly (or ashamedly, in some cases) present to you: Google search terms that bring you to the website of yours truly.
1) “Injured diaphragm” [links here] Apparently more people than myself have diaphragm issues, and there aren’t many other websites out there with anything informative to say about it. I will take this time, then, to warmly reassure all of you visitors with diaphragm pains: YOU AND I ARE GOING TO DIE BECAUSE NO DOCTORS ARE MAKING USEFUL WEBSITES ABOUT DIAPHRAGM PAIN!!! The internet brings you here, but I have no solution.
Other search examples include: pain in diaphragm, sprained diaphragm, strained diaphragm, pain below diaphragm, diaphragm sharp pain, dull diaphragm pain, how can i injure my diaphragm, pain behind rib cage, etc. Now, to the guy searching for “how can i injure my diaphragm,” I don’t want to know…
2) “Optimum change to carry in wallet” [links here] Aha! Other people are just as weird and nerdy as me, too! Thought I was the only one, eh? Well I’m glad my two-post series is able to reveal the solution to so many people concerned with this practical issue. Also searched: optimal pocket change, what is the perfect amount of change to carry around in your pocket, etc.
3) “Clown trash cans” and “designer trash cans” [links here] Okay, first of all, I was not sure what a clown trash can was. Then I googled it. Do NOT view this video alone at night in the dark. You have been warned!! [YouTube] Secondly, if you’re into designer trash cans, you need a new hobby.
4) “Doreen Szeto wedding” [links here] I understand how this shows up as a search result. What gets me is that people are googling her wedding. Is that the new trend? Can I google “James Szeto wedding” and find out who I’m going to marry?
5) “We need to DTR” [links here] Is it scary that I’m on page 1 on the search results for this? I don’t know if this series of posts was an entertaining satire or a public disservice, really. Maybe I should post my serious Sunday school lesson on dating next. If you’ve come to my blog for dating advice, you’re no better off than all the poor people with diaphragm pain.
6) “Pantsed in public” [links here] All the weird fetish/voyeur people looking to get your kicks at my website, you’ve come to the wrong place. And if I ever really did get pantsed in public, you would go blind from the shimmering white sheen that is my milky thighs. So be thankful.
7) “What James Szeto eats” [links here] Okay, umm. Let me tell you something. Google is great and all, but it doesn’t know everything. I fear the day when someone can type “what underwear is James Szeto wearing right now” and Google returns not only the style and color, but the price, location and date of purchase, and usage statistics (e.g. “last washed: Christmas 2003″).
So, to answer your question, what do I eat? I eat just about anything that’s bad for you. The worse, the better.
Some of you know me to be pretty observant. Some of you know me to be slightly obsessive-compulsive. Some of you know me as a very one-on-one type of person, in terms of how I prefer to hang out or go out with friends.
To those of you who know me as all three of those, this series of posts will make perfect sense. It’s called How To Walk With Someone.
For the first installment, let’s talk about stairs (my biggest gripe). Let’s say that a friend and I are walking up or down a bi-level stairway together. I, either being deferential to my guy friend or courteous to my girl friend, will regularly take the outside track and cover the extra circumferential distance. (Young men, take note in addition: walk on the side closer to traffic when on the sidewalk with someone, except at night along streets with alleyways, in which case the interior side is proper.) Anyways, it looks like this (imagine that this staircase is spiraling upwards or downwards):
Yes, we travel different distances. But we also have to move at different speeds (fortunately I have long legs, which helps).Well, you know what I think about every single time? Two friends can actually ascend and descend a staircase traveling the same distance and the same speed! The only problem is that everybody needs to become aware of this method first, because if just one person tries to do it, he’ll totally throw the other one off. Check it out:
Yeah!! Isn’t it beautiful? Okay, let’s just make an agreement to do that from now on, shall we? Spread the word.
The first recording on my new guitar! Excuse the mistakes; I did this in just one take after trying Come Thou Fount a dozen times before giving up and deciding to switch songs instead. And the tone’s a little bright for my tastes, but they’re brand-spankin’-new strings.
Near the Cross (Instrumental) Original Melody by William Howard Doane
Arrangement by James Szeto
